Emergence

Each day with you seems a reprieve
or a rare gift given to wonder and delight
Anger may flare, wills clash,
passion builds to a roaring crescendo,
yet for every hurt lie a hundred gentle memories
of softly lit eyes and hands caressing
in tender ecstasy either pliant or powerful.

I seek your presence as a thirsty soul
searches for water among arid plains –
and feel at home with tempestuous moods
or quiet perusals –
content in that special brand
of soul touching.

 

His special essence

Reflecting sides of a prism,
full of light and diversity . . .
each time those eyes
burn with that special
brand of intensity
I want you more
than days before.
As layers peel, dimensions surface,
complexity interweaving
in subtle variations
of themes my own, yet
seen within your mind –
the pull between
your essence and mine
binds, grows, strengthens
and that certain allure
only you possess
comes into increasingly
sharp focus.
A unity of spirit exists
as we spin tales of days past
or speak in reverent tones
of a future misty and vague –
and a tiny voice
growing in strength
says I want to be there
to see the person
as he unfolds.

New Neighbors

I stood at the window, gazing down as the cops “escorted” another drug addict from the building.  “Isn’t the first, won’t be the last”, I mumbled as I watched the three of them talking.  “Damn Bryson” I mouthed as I thought how one more time he had found “good guys” to be renters. They were always problems one way or the other, generally met at the local bar.

When I pulled into the driveway just minutes before I could see two police cars in between the drug dealer’s place and this apartment building.  I figured they had come here when I saw one of the guys’ car at a slant, blocking the two other cars in the parking lot. As this was a supreme no,no, I figured the cops were here, at the apartment that had been moved into just a few weeks ago.

Now it was just a matter of getting the story from one of the other tenants. Dee is always the go-to gal.  She knows everything that has gone on in the building for the last twenty years, because she has lived here that long and has a nose for trouble.  Years ago, she had a relationship with Byron so their’s is a complicated story.  She’s the “Building Manager” and handles what emergencies come up unless they require Byron’s hand.  All of her children have lived in the building, at one time or another, with their families.

Dee reported Matt, one of the guys upstairs, had called the police because a guy who had spent a couple of nights was being disruptive and needed to be removed, and not going on his own. Matt is trying hard to maintain some control in an apartment with 2 other guys, both addicts of one kind or another.  Matt has his own issues.  He is the only one working but he is on the slow side. Dee said the police were being real jerks, treating Matt as if he were the issue, frisking him and jeering at his lack of ability to control the situation on his own.

I told Dee about Matt’s car blocking her car and another tenant’s.  She grumpily went up to tell Matt he had to move the car.  She watched out the window as Matt went outside, looked perplexed, scratched his head, and moved the car forward a couple of feet.  Turns out, as Dee and I had been talking, Matt had moved is car to its accustomed place. Dee and I laughed our butts off.

Something’s Gotta Give

I agree completely. Thank you for writing this

BeautyBeyondBones

I’m having one of those moments where I literally feel like I’m floating.

And no, there are no illegal substances in my body. Although, I did just eat some cotton candy grapes, and I’m convinced that there’s a magic ingredient in there, because those things are unreal.

giphy-5

But I legitimately feel lighter than air.

Ever since my mom’s stroke back in December, family has obviously been top priority. We’ve come together as a unit and dug in for the long haul. I’ve been home from NYC for the last four months, and just this past week, my brother and his wife moved two houses down from my parents in the neighborhood we grew up in.

Talk about an amazing couple.

And so this weekend, my mom and I threw her a party to welcome her to the neighborhood.

That party was today.

And it was amazing.

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But not for…

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Vast Reaches

The time has come
to search beyond fears
and trepidations of
long instilled torments
and reach for pinnacles,
scary but alluring,
rather than remaining
sequestered behind walls
built to protect,
to put the soldier,
always holding the fort,
maintaining structure
and security to rest
to experience peaks and valleys,
of knowledge and understanding,
loving and letting in,
sharing and fighting . . .

It is a time
for new beginnings,
an exploration of the sense,
questing for gratification,
in opening oneself up
to the frailties and strengths
never before explored.

The time has come
to love, to like, to play
… to be and be with,
to be at home
within the vast reaches
inside myself

Soul Mating with Yourself

Growing times, painful times
having to accept the inevitable
but resisted forces –
knowing action must be taken
yet balking. Wanting to remain
that shy young girl
nurtured by some handsome prince.
Always awaiting rescue
from sorrow and toil.
Understanding the moment has come
for responsibility,
to self and for self –
a decision between being
either best friend or worst enemy –
accepting the bonding
to that which lies within –
soul mating with yourself.

(written in 1982)

Winsome breezes

Gentle winds stirring my soul
awaken the peace within –
soothe these somber lines
etched deeply in this fragile flesh.
Bring comfort, an ease from
the restless torment
so keenly felt in more active times
when I failed to hesitate
and feel the sun’s warm glow
or remember the days
when winsome breezes
kissed my face and nurtured
a scared young child –
allowing her freedom
and a quiet serenity
to sustain her in harsh times.

Flowers and Toys

Is the pattern
instilled within so long ago
to begin again –
running, constantly running
from one wild flower to another
longing for a sweeter scent
or more vivid, delicate petals?
And who, this time,
is the fleer to be –
you or I?
Each fear entrapment,
a seeping of the soul
subtly transferred to the possession
of the other.
Both have sought through
countless meadows,
seeking that rare blossom,
headier in fragrance
than all the rest.
Like children at Christmas
we grab one toy to our breasts,
proclaiming it our favorite,
our most precious treasure,
only to cast it aside
in favor of another –
stuffing memories into small places
squeezing stuffing from edges frayed
only to leave a soiled vestige
of childhood fancy
lying half off the shelf,
to tumble down forgotten.
Is the pattern to begin again –
if so, which of us is the toy?

Fundamentals to Getting and Keeping a Job for Generation Y bipolar people

Bipolar people may face an even more difficult time entering and staying within the workplace than traditional workers, especially older workers. Younger workers, those in Generation Y face unique challenges not necessarily experienced by those who went before you. This is especially true of Bipolar people.

In Nick Morrison’s article for June 4, 2015, “The Four Key Skills Generation Y is Missing”, he speaks to essential skills needed for any job.
1. Working “Life” Skills – turning up for work on time, dressing professionally. . . Understanding what a working professional is
2. Self-awareness and confidence
3. Learning how to communicate professionally with collegues either by email or voice. Look people in the eye when talking to them.
4. Ability to see things through the client’s eyes or the company’s rules and ethics

Inclusive of the ethics of seeking a position and holding onto it are some fundementals:
– Learn to listen carefully and respectfully to collegues and managers
– Follow-through – do what you are told to do or you set out to do. If filling out an application finish it, then send it. If called for an interview, show up, dress appropriately, listen, ask careful questions
– Weigh your current skills with what is asked for. You probably won’t be called in for an interview if you don’t have what they need. However, don’t discount skills and experience that don’t fit easily into the niche. For instance, babysitting teaches you how to deal with children and their parents. Landscaping for your uncle during the summer, demonstrates you have the ability to show up and work hard. Promote yourself.
– No matter how nice the day or what activity you want to do – SHOW UP TO WORK
– Do what needs to be done. If the floors need sweeping, counters washed, do it even if not asked
– Ask what the customer needs, listen attentively, smile and take them where they need to go or get someone to come over to do that.
– Be honest. There are no freebies unless otherwise specified.

In “Perception vs. Reality: 10 Truths About the Gen Y Workforce” in Quintessential LiveCareer by Randall S. Hansen, PhD., this generation is seen as entitled, arrogant, self-centered, impulsive and possessing a short attention span. This is partly based on parents who tended to over-praise, give what they themselves had not, and rewarding you for any little thing. “These parents stunted their children’s growth by proactively removing all obstacles and potentially negative experiences. ” This may be especially true of young people with Bipolar.

This generation has the reputation for being Lazy, with a poor work ethic, Little respect for Authority, too Individualistic, with Overinflated/Unrealistic Expectations. They are seen as being not committed to work, having no loyalty to employers, lacking social skills, and Needy. That’s a heavy load to face and the only one who can change it is you. Work based on your merits. Know you are more accepting of diversity than older generations were – an important skill. Use that understanding with everyone. Accept work is not like school or home – no one is going to praise you or pat you on the back everytime you do something well. That is something that is an expectation in the workplace. Don’t let your parents take control of your job. This is your responsibility. Managers are trying to help you, trust them to show you skills needed and attitudes expected. Don’t expect a promotion until you have paid your dues – pace yourself. Also, realize work is a combination of teamwork and individual assignments – learn to work both ways. Don’t question every decision made.

There is a lot of thinking to do about finding a job and keeping it. Be consistent and patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You can become a responsible, valued, progressive employee. Just work on the areas you fall short in and shine up your assets.

The place where I dump the stuff that's inside my head.

Geetha Balvannanathan's Blog - Isis Tratum

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