When is Sorry not Enough?

I’m sorry . . . for myself . . . to myself.
This is my burden to bear
Sometimes it is understood
Most times it’s not.

Many times I leaned on or used others
Because I didn’t trust myself
Didn’t believe . . .
Too much damage was already done

I may not always look disabled
Or act or function as disabled
But I clearly was . . .
I think it confuses people
Makes them ask themselves
What the truth was to them.

Was I not pushing myself enough?
Was I really unable to do certain tasks
While I asked myself the same thing
Beat myself up –
Exhausted my mind and emotions
On futility.

I have a chance   now . . .
To rewrite my life,
To understand my limitations
And misunderstandings
To move away from destructive people
And build a new support system.

Instead of shunning people with
Problems like mine
Embrace them.
Instead of feeling nauseous
As I looked in a mirror –
To accept me as I am,

Make myself more,
And be less self-concerned
And more open to new acquaintances
And new beginnings.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s