There is so much pain in this world. It seems to be screeching out at us. Not sorrow, although that is there, but abject misery. We may think our little lives are painful but when I think of the refugees, the millions of people in refugee (internment) camps, those who have nothing to eat, no shelter, lacking clean water, caught in the crossfire of crazed beings fighting over bombed out towns which lack every necessity now, children raped, stolen, trained into soldiers, deliberating drugged to make them more obedient, who are we to say our pain is great?
It is real, and exceedingly hard to climb out of, but my pain is increased by the pain of this world. It’s crying out, in the air we breathe, in each time I put food in my mouth or walk into my comfortable, safe apartment. I may be disabled, living on Social Security, and facing real challenges, but can you imagine being disabled – mentally, emotionally, physically, And being a refugee? Can you imagine being on a boat with so many people it is impossible to move, not knowing when, or even if, a country will take us or if we will capsize the boat and drown? That is fear. That is feeling voiceless, unwanted, without shelter or food, not knowing how to care for your children in a situation like this, totally alone in the midst of many.
I hear and feel the ground beneath me aching in sorrow. I feel the air I breathe trembling in agony. There is only so much pain this Earth can withstand and in these times, it feels like it can’t possibly take anymore. For we can’t forget, this world is an organism in its own right. Can you imagine how It feels being bombed, desecrated, stripped of its beauty, groaning under the strain of having to hold the burdens of the multitudes? Sometimes I feel I should sit down on the ground and stroke it, soothe It’s burden even a little.
And mostly, I don’t know what to do. Where I can place my small sums of money that will make a meaningful difference and not swallowed in “administrative fees”. Can I make a difference and where? If I could jump on a plane and fly to those crying in the wilderness, what could I bring but a hug, an ear to listen (if I understand the language). But even that is not a reality. I need to look for people and places nearby. Stretch out a hand where it can actually be grabbed. Help. And I need direction about where to do the most good, any good, rather than retreat into my tiny world of cat, books and home. How is an activist born?