Shoveling the Crap

We all have experienced the tragedies, mania, depression and despair of this disease. Lately, I have been going through an extremely stressful time, regrettably of my own making. My mind is spinning like a top, panic attacks are frequent, almost daily. Depression is manifest, my sleeping patterns are erratic. More and more pressure and repercussions keep coming my way. And knowing I created this mess is truly devastating.

However, I have picked up the shovel and am slowly digging myself out. It is time I became a solidly responsible adult. I try to project an image of competency but it isn’t always working and I am so embarrassed that I don’t want to talk about it much. I don’t want to put the burden on others so I only share with a couple of people. But I am sharing and that counts for something.
Being in that pile of poop is truly a tough time but I am trying really hard to do certain things:

1. I take courage in the fact that more bipolar people are creative than those in the regular population.
2. One Step at a Time – I can only succeed that way. Whether my mind is spinning out of control, I can only move one step at a time and doing it that way begins to slow my mind down
3. Compartmentalize – realize I can only do so much, in a certain order, and each hillock on the pile can be addressed without destroying the whole
4. Be good to myself. Bubble baths, oil treatments, kombucha, a good meal I took the time to prepare . . .
5. If all else fails, and I am worn to the nubbins’, take a nap, recharge.
6. Share with someone – it really does lighten the load

I have the ability to slow the spin, it takes a lot of effort, and the help of other people, but that pile of poop can become manageable.

One thought on “Shoveling the Crap”

  1. Slowing things down by doing one thing at a time is good for all of us. I think that the power and desirability of “multi-tasking” is completely overblown. Studies finally are showing that if we do only one thing at a time, and focus on its, we not only get more done, we reduce our stress level. So good for you — it sounds like you’re on the right track.


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