Free Will

God granted us the Right of Free Will when Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge. Yet, these days I find myself in a quagmire of thoughts about that act. Knowledge has led us far. We are not the Innocents we would have been without it. And yes, I am also a firm believer in Evolution. Justifying the two is an interesting balancing act on the scales, particularly the Scale of Justice.

When I pray these days, many times it is that God intervene and fill the hearts and souls of all aggressors with Loving Kindness so they could never imagine conducting acts of aggression again, and that those who have been persecuted not rise up in retribution should that happen.

But then I circle back to Free Will. Frankly, I think it has not helped us in many cases. We have only to look as far as ISIS and the treatment of Refugees. Of the girls raped and children turned into child soldiers. Or child brides. Or the Racism that pervades our society and the acts it generates. Of terrorism in all its facets. Or torture. The list goes on . . .

And then I look at the ramifications of not having Free Will. Would research for advances in science and medicine continue? What about the right of abortion and birth control? How would population control be handled? What about all the cultural distinctions of tribes, religions, and countries all over the world? Would the intricacies of our personalities cease to exist? What would happen to uniqueness? Would mental illness be eliminated? Would we all be committed to cherishing and protecting the environment and all beings – flora and fauna? Would Religions in all their varieties still exist or would there be a uniform one or none? Would atheists still believe as they do?

What would God’s will look like? And ultimately, would God choose to have both Good and Evil after all?

Words to live by?

“In all our searching, the only thing we’ve found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other”
Carl Sagan

Is it true? For you, for me? I live a world of aloneness and many times m distinctly uncomfortable in the presence of a group of people. I’m not sure if I’m always comfortable with just one person. Aloneness does that to you. It takes the need for others and twists it into almost a fear of others. Or, maybe just an out of touch displacement in communication, in touching, in hugging.

There are many people I care about, I just don’t know what to say to them. There are people I dearly love and I can find myself stumbling over words, chiding myself over the sarcasm I often use as humor.

I know I need others, but at a much less degree it seems others do. The vastness of space enthralls me. Sure, wormholes which zoom us from point A to point B in the next galaxy are great but, with the exception of computers like HAL that take over spaceships, I think I might like a long voyage into space.

And yet, I found myself planting an Easter lily at my parents’ graves today because I miss them; even though our paths were often torturous. Aloneness is a curious thing. The second you realize you haven’t seen anyone else for a day, you feel a longing for connection. So I guess Carl Sagan is correct – to greater or lesser degrees.

Palm Sunday

Are my whispering doubts
just the after words,
diluted by time,
of the rabid crowds in
Jerusalem, spurred on by
wrinkled, threatened old priests
perhaps lessened or camouflaged
in time’s passing?

I waved my palm today,
trying to weave a cross
from the dried out grass,
singing of love and adoration
and pain . . .
his, not mine.

Had spouted statistics
of 31 deaths in Egyptian
Coptic Christian Churches,
with many more injured
and felt sadness, mourning,
but not depth of feeling
for the atrocity and its effects

I’m outraged and worn down
simultaneously, by all the
madness and cruelty in our world.
Nightly I pray that the evil ones
doing ordering or following
be so filled with loving kindness
that never again can they do harm
nor for those underneath
to respond back in rage.

What is enough?
Enough for me to do,
enough for the world to bear,
enough for the Trinity to react
as was promised?
Where and when will it end?
Or is it still in it’s infancy?