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Rediscovering passion

A book, memoirs, poetry –

words strewn across pages

new and old

I was so frightened I had lost

the passion that drove me,

the ability to put meaningful thoughts

to paper – so others could understand

and react in their own ways.

But Brain Damage can be retrained

if given a chance.

Three years of emptiness,

hurt, despair, fear

can immobilize you.

This is not my greatest poem

but I just needed to say I’m alive

my brain is still there

and there are words in my head

just waiting for emergence.

Nous

Am I a Christian . . . .What do I think?

Or is that the problem…. I think.

The ancient world defined

“nous” as the finest part of the soul

Both purely sensory and purely spiritual

As Christ was.

Every day I read the Word

And the words about the Word

I ponder, ruminate, whir and whir

About what it means to be a

Christian.

About the fact and the fiction

The best and the worst

Within me and about me.

Or am I merely a theologian

Studying, staying in the safety

Of my mind.

Are my deeds good enough

To get into heaven

How much bad can I do

After I’ve been “saved”

And still get to see the Almighty Trinity?

Because, no matter what,

I do believe that purity and goodness

Are life long, daily, acts and beliefs.

If I question or doubt – do I get there?

Who really knows?

The One is not here to tell me.

Nor do I believe if I get to heaven

I will be divine – as some hymns allude.

Only the Trinity is divine.

So please tell me Lord

What it is that pleases you

And how best can I serve?

Because I want to be Christian

And not simply a Theologian.