Tag Archives: Bewilderment

Lord hear my soul

Precious Lord of my soul
I look to you in night’s web of darkness
and dawn’s sweet, soft light
in hope, in wonder.
In supplest nuances
and bold staccatos of sound
You exclaim your presence
again, and yet again

There You are
but . . .
how do I cross
the bridge of my unknowing
to meet you unwaveringly?

Silent moments slide by
An ocean’s worth
while I look and wonder
And question –

Who are you?
Why am I here?
And most important –
What use can I possibly be
to your purpose?

I am as lost
As one of your sheep
slow-witted and dumb
breaking from the safety
of your guiding presence.

As angry and suspicious
as Moses’ Israelites
only believing during blessings –
fighting, scratching, bitterly rebellious
until God’s plagues of rage
or bold strokes of divine intervention
shake them from their torpor.

I am no more
Than those ancient peoples
But – I trust
Just as the race itself was saved
So shall I be
As long as I believe.

Back Again?

Why are you back again?
You told me you were going
for good – never to pass
my way or hold my hand.

Does your hand need holding now?
Is it that?  Or have I become
a convenience – a stopping off
place between two destinies,
an easy retreat from fear
and frustration.

I did not run behind
– calling for your return,
but let you go – to pursue
your path as you choose,
accepting I was not
the one you looked for,
and still not found.

So why the grand welcome?
I don’t understand –
first you want to be free
and when no chains are there
to bind and chafe tender skin –
you return, only this time
I know how quickly you run,
this time I won’t give over
those bits of soul
freely given before.

Learning me will be harder
this time – and walking out
the door may be easier
the second time around . . .
only – I shall be
doing the walking.