This is it! Off to California tomorrow. I’m going to be a Grandma. I’m wiggling inside and out of expectation. The bags are packed, my cat is provided for, and the fridge is empty of perishables.
Here’s the thing . . . I’m all jazzed about seeing my daughter and getting to know my son-in-law, and of course, being there for the birth (even though I have to wait at home until the baby is born). But Dani and Kendall are going to be non-pulsed about it all. Yes, their excited but they are in their own place, they have seen her belly grow and heard the heartbeats and seen the sonograms.
I haven’t seen them in two years. It is such a long time and a lot of longing in the in-between time. All that time I think about them. But I remember what it was like to be a new mother and what it was like to be living far from my parents. There wasn’t the same emotional investment that my parents may have had. I was a twenty-something with a good life and a lot of living to do. Part of the reason I moved 3,000 miles was to get away from my parents. I need to contain some of this enthusiasm.
My son parented me about boundaries and appropriate behavior at Dani’s. Yori said Dani was an independent, disciplined, intelligent woman who knew her own mind. I needed to remember I was there on vacation and not try to do everything for them. They wouldn’t appreciate it at all. I have to remember to relax, take care of my healing foot, and just be present. He is right, of course, not that I necessarily know how to relax and let the world revolve around me.
But until then, I’m jiggling. Wish me luck and hope that I behave appropriately. Be back in 2 1/2 weeks.